Category Archives: Tower

Those “Tower” Moments

Those Tower Moments: When Life Comes Apart (Again and Again)

Well, darling.

If you were with me over two years ago (September 16, 2014 – so make that two years and three months ago, see When Life Comes Apart), I was writing about a Tower time. My life had certainly come apart.

Those Tower moments - when life comes apart completely!

Those Tower moments – when life comes apart completely!

And I thought that the shake-up was done.

How wrong I was!

When we have a Tower moment in our lives – when everything comes apart – it’s like having an earthquake. And as with any good earthquake, there are aftershocks.

My “aftershocks” continued for another two years.

A total (over three years) of five different jobs, in four locations. Three moves, and two different states. And somewhere in there, I’m sure, there was a partridge in a pear-tree.

All of this makes me an expert (at least in my own mind) on Tower moments in our lives. And also, by no means, unique. Many, MANY of us are having Tower-moments. For some, it may seem like an unending series of Tower-times, like living on an earthquake fault.

So how to deal?

Recap: Getting the Big Picture

Let’s pull back just a bit.

If you’ll recall, I’ve been writing – for several years now – about how the Major Arcana from the Tarot show up in our lives. The underlying theme here is that we can use these Major Arcana, not so much for divination (fortune-telling), but in terms of high-level life-guidance.

In fact, I’ve got a very strong sense that these Major Arcana were put down in pictorial form so that master teachers had something like a MS Powerpoint (TM) slidedeck; something that they could take with them on journeys, and that they could use as reference points in talking with each other and with their students. Let’s keep in mind also that the first appearances of the Major Arcana (as part of the overall Tarot cards) was in the late 1400’s, and was more-or-less coincident with various Inquisitions. Let’s keep in mind also that there is a strong connection between the organization of the Major Arcana and various aspects of the Jewish Kaballah, and that the Inquisition particularly targeted the Jewish people. Major Jewish centers of learning were hugely disrupted during the resulting combination of expulsion (of those who were still openly Jewish) and imprisonment, torture, and death (to those who had converted, but were then subject to a later round of persecution). (See The Inquisition (from a Jewish historical perspective for a brush-up on the history.)

Without trying to push things too far (as I’m not a historian, nor a scholar of the Kabbalah), it is real interesting that around this timeframe, many Jewish mystical scholars were writing down materials that had hitherto been transmitted only in oral form, across many centuries. (See Index of Sages for a sense of who did what, when.)

Where the Tower Fits into the Big Picture

Thus, back to the main point.

The Major Arcana, organized into three sets of seven each. The "Fool," or the zeroth Arcana, precedes this set.

The Major Arcana, organized into three sets of seven each. The “Fool,” or the zeroth Arcana, precedes this set.

The Tower is an archetype in the Major Arcana. There are many teachers who suggest that the Major Arcana can be viewed as a set of three sets of seven Arcana each, with the “Zeroth” Arcana (The Fool) preceding all of them.

If we look at the Major Arcana this way, we see that the Tower (Major Arcana XVI) is second from the beginning of the last set of seven. The Major Arcana immediately preceding it is the Devil (XV) and the one immediately after is the Star (XVII).

Of the two cards that people hate to see show up in readings, probably the Tower and the Devil are at the top of the list – even more than Death (XIII). However, we often feel a sense of peace when we see the Star show up.

The challenge for us is that these are all related.

Things Come in Threes

We can make sense of these Major Arcana the most when we view them in the context of our overall life-journey, and not just in isolation. Thus, if we’re having a Tower time, what immediately preceded it – and often, that which was a set-up for the Tower – was a time dominated by the Devil Major Arcana. And what comes after it is that peaceful sense that we get with the Star.

This blog has been long enough already, so I’m going to defer a detailed discussion (or many detailed discussions) for further blog posts. The important point, for now, is that when we see the Devil Major Arcana show up, whether in a reading or in our lives, it doesn’t necessarily mean a for-real devil, as in a satanic personage. Notice, in that card, that the Devil figure is much larger than the persons bound at its feet.

The Devil is, most often, a blown-up, larger-than-life, distorted fun-house projection of our own inner beliefs and mental constructs.

When a Tower moment happens, or even a series of Tower moments, we often start getting clarity on what was going on that the Tower is now shaking apart. Usually, there was something that was just not-quite-right. It could have been a corporation built upon a flawed business plan, or with leadership that was making poor decisions. It could be a marriage that had seriously bad dynamics. It could be a belief that life would continue as it has been, in the face of mounting evidence that things are adapting and that we all need to change – to learn new skills, or take some other action to keep pace with unfolding events.

Because we all like to keep our status quo going as long as we can, it takes a Tower to shake us up. Sometimes, a succession of Tower moments. That’s absolutely what happened to me.

The thing is – once we’ve had our Tower time, we begin to see much more clearly.

The Star (Major Arcana XVII) is a time when we get clarity and a new energy flow.

The Star (Major Arcana XVII) is a time when we get clarity and a new energy flow.

The ground under us settles; the dust clears. We might be completely naked (as is the woman in the Star Major Arcana).

We might be in a situation where we have not only lost the (admittedly illusory) protection of the Tower walls, but have even lost the shirt off our backs. Totally exposed and vulnerable.

However, in this new moment, we get new juice. Things start to flow for us. In the case of the woman in the Star Arcana, we see that she is pouring from two pitchers; one onto the earth, the other back into the stream. She is kneeling, with one foot planted in the stream of water. She’s accessing flow.

Far different from the Devil and the Tower, right? And a big step in personal freedom.

More to follow …

Until next time –

with love and laughter – Alay’nya

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When Life Comes Apart (and How to Put It Together Again)

Recovery from a Major Life Upheaval

We all have those moments – hopefully not too often (or we simply wouldn’t survive) – when everything, absolutely everything, comes apart all at once.

Moving-out - very suddenly!

Moving-out – very suddenly!

Our well-ordered and carefully-structured lives take a major tumble.

This is what happened to me, six months ago precisely.

The landlord let us know that he wasn’t renewing the lease. He wanted to sell the property, and tenants were just not a part of his game plan.

We had thirty days to get out.

Thirty days – in which to disassemble a household that had been built up for over ten years.

Almost everyone who had lived there, over the previous ten years, had left something behind. Sometimes large somethings, sometimes small.

The situation was – every nook and corner and cranny was filled with someone’s stuff.

Be Careful What You Ask For

For months prior to the great lease-termination-notice, my prayer to the Universe had been that I wanted to get lighter, tighter, and brighter.

I was really sincere about this prayer.

It became the underlying chord and theme for my life.

I had no idea, though, that the answer would involve such a sweeping, overwhelming, and life-altering change.

Getting Into Agreement

The first thing that I had to do – and I would recommend this to ANYONE who finds themselves suddenly in the maelstrom of an overwhelming life-change – was to get into alignment with it.

I had to let go of any resistance, any sense of fighting against this.

Some friends – sincere and helpful friends – wanted me to find legal recourses to delay the inevitable move. I knew in my gut that putting effort into this kind of resistance would be totally out of alignment with what the Universe was offering me.

Instead, I got into agreement with this, real fast.

I said in my heart, Yes, this is painful. Yes, this is disruptive. Yes, this is scary, and most of all – just massively uncomfortable.

But this is what I’ve called into my life, this is the answer to my prayers, and I’ll receive help and guidance – at all levels – and I’ll get through.

Angels-help-people_crppd

And I DID receive help. HUGE help.

I’ve joked with friends many times since that members of the Angelic Team for Helping-People-with-Major-Life-Transitions deserved outstanding commendation letters in their personnel jackets, and maybe some serious time off. They certainly worked hard enough!

If I’d been in resistance – if I’d put my energy into wailing and whining, and saying how unfair all of this was – I wouldn’t have been open to the help that I received.

Instead, I began to see, recognize, and give thanks for the daily miracles.

These acts of help – many acts of spontaneous support and kindness, and many acts that were way beyond simple serendipity – were my new manna-from-heaven.

Every single day, whatever I needed for that day was brought to me. Boxes and packing materials. Help with packing. A meal. Someone stopping by to purchase something – occasionally out of the blue.

Every single day, I received the blessing that I needed for that day.

It was a magical and blessed (and of course totally exhausting) time.

Giving It Up – More than I Ever Imagined

On the road; me and five cats going west.

On the road; me and five cats going west.

But clearing out ten years (or more) of accumulated stuff was not easy.

I gave away over 250 books, keeping only those that were part of my scientific, creative, and inspirational life – and just a few “recreational reads.”

I sold, gave away, or left behind for others about 80% of my worldly goods.

Clothes, most personal items, scientific and technical and creative books and tools – they all came.

Everyday household items and tools – anything that could be purchased at a hardware store, department store, or major lifestyle items store – they were all released to the universe.

Every several days, we took a truckload to the dump. Every single day, we took an overflowing car or van to the local thrift store.

I held a garage sale, and sold belly dance costumes, resources, and plants.

Every person who was living with me found a soft landing – a new place, just as good (and perhaps even better for them) than what they’d had in my Household.

Every plant found a home. Amazing how readily people scooped up large, healthy plants!

No one wanted a cat. I tried hard to find homes for at least two. No takers.

Thirty days after I’d received notice, I was in a 16′ Budget truck, five cats in their respective cat carriers beside me in the front seat, on a highway going west.

Several hundred miles later, I pulled into my sister’s driveway, where she graciously welcomed me (and the five cats – sign of a true cat-lover) to stay with her until I could get a restart on life.

A Real Tower Moment

Yup, taking apart a living situation that had endured for a decade was a real Tower-moment.

The Tower (from the Major Arcana) symbolizes a time when our well-ordered lives come tumbling down.

The Tower (from the Major Arcana) symbolizes a time when our well-ordered lives come tumbling down.

It was total life-disruption.

Everything that I had – infrastructure, various jobs-while-writing, my total local support system – came tumbling down.

And – as is typical after a major Tower time – I was exhausted afterwards.

It’s taken me six months to rebuild the strength for connecting back with you.

There are some things to share, though. Really important stuff – because we all have these Tower moments in our lives.

They happen again and again. Big ones, small ones – they happen to us and the people in our lives.

And with the pace of life speeding up (yes, it is), they’re happening more and more often.

So the big question is, how do we deal?

Maybe even bigger: How do we recognize when such a moment is coming? How do we prepare?

And also, how do we recover/regroup/rebuild after?

How I Got My Mojo Back

In a word – exercise.

Daily walks, starting with a mile, going up to three, settling back to two. (Writer and creativity-teacher Julia Cameron calls this a daily Artist’s Walk.)

Daily walks coupled with yoga, then adding in resistance and core.

Then – and I’m not necessarily recommending this, just telling how what I did – adding in a spurt of sword-training and karate moves.

Yup, you heard me.

I’ve been a belly dancer for the past 30-odd years. I migrated to Oriental dance from the martial arts, where I’d begun with hard-style Shotokan karate, gone through softer forms, and finally ended up (I thought for good) in dance.

Dance is good for total body integration.

In fact, dance is good for a woman’s total emotional, energetic, and body integration. (That’s part of why I wrote Unveiling: The Inner Journey; to share that message.)

Heian Shodan - the first beginner's kata from the Shotokan karate tradition.

Heian Shodan – the first beginner’s kata from the Shotokan karate tradition.

But there I was, two weeks ago, out in the back yard doing Heian Shodan – the first beginner’s kata (choreographed movement series) from Shotokan karate.

Integration is good.

But recently, I’ve needed focus.

After a life-explosion, I’ve needed to be more yang than yin, and karate is one of those things that is helping me get there.

Evidence that this is working?

Well, I’m writing to you.

For the first time, in over six months.

Just to say hello, and to give you an update.

And to let you know that the next several blogs will have insights, ideas, and practices that will help you (or your loved ones), when these inevitable Tower moments happen.

Until our next time –

With love and laughter – Alay’nya

Dec. 21st, 2012 – And the Next 60 Years

Beyond December 21, 2012: The Next 60 Years

For the past half-year, this blog has had a strategic direction. We are leading up to – and pointing the way beyond – the much anticipated “2012 Transition.”

And as we move towards that time, anticipation and curiosity mounts. Will we wake up on the morning of December 22nd to find that the world has irrevocably changed? Will we wake up at all? Or will we get into our cars or take our “usual” route to work, stop by our “usual” favorite place for morning coffee, and have a big laugh? The “2012 Transition?” we might say to each other. “It was all a big joke, wasn’t it? Like the Y2K ‘crisis’ – remember that? All ‘much ado about nothing.’ Life goes forward.”

Or will we say something in a similar vein, but have our words mask a fear-bordering anxiety. A sense of unease, as when horses send a blizzard coming down off the plains. We’ll feel an instinctual, primal urge to find a “safe place” in which to hide – but have nowhere to turn. We’ll continue reading the news, listening to our favorite pundits on TV, picking up the Twitter feeds and the Facebook links. And all of the news will converge into our heads to give us just one clear message: A crisis is coming.

In fact, that crisis is already here.

The question is: What sort of crisis? How big? How difficult?

Will we survive? If so, in what form? And what do we need to do now to prepare?

Now’s my time to “come clean” with you. I am proposing answers. But I’m not proposing “easy answers.” It’s not that I’m “middle-of-the-road” in terms of what I believe will happen, but I’m being very careful about what it is that we need to do about not only what is going to happen, but also what is happening right now.

These “not-so-easy answers” are based not on one specific area or another. So I’m not going to propose a “financial survival plan,” nor a “head-to-the-hills” approach. Nor am I going to be totally “New Age.” Yes, we’re having a “singularity.” (See work by early proponent Ray Kurzweil.) Yes, we are at a culminating point in human experience. And yes, there are a whole lot of “strange things” going on – in our lives, in the world around us – that are not part of our “normal” expectations and experiences.

But I’m not going to go all “woo-woo” on you either.

Where we are at – where we are precisely at – in human experience – is a Tower moment.

Take a look at these images. First, our recent past.

 Photograph by Spencer Platt, Getty Images

Perhaps no images in the last dozen years more succinctly capture the opening of this millenium than the destruction of the “twin towers” of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.

Now, a visual image describing a point in human evolution – both individual and species-wide.

The Tower card – Major Arcana XVI – from the Rider-Waite depiction.

The Tower image is deeply embedded in our cultural mythology. Specifically, we have a culture-wide deep-felt resonance with the “destruction of a tower” as signifying the fall of everything from a civilization to a person.

In Unveiling: The Inner Journey, I depicted the Tower role in our lives as when we suffer loss of everything that defines our ego. Most importantly, according to Tower imagery, this loss is not of just one thing. It is when we lose everything all at once. We lose our job, and the same week, the doctor diagnoses us with breast cancer. Or our husband files for divorce so that he can move in with his mistress, and our company is bought out by a mega-conglomerate – with impending re-organizations and layoffs. Or we realize that we need to move our mother into a nursing home – and take over storing and processing her “worldly goods,” while at the same time our son is diagnosed with ADD and needs extra tutoring and attention.

A Tower moment is when it all comes apart, all at once.

We have them in our lives. I’ve had multiple ones (described in Unveiling).

Now, here’s the important point: One that I didn’t make in Unveiling.

Humans have Tower moments, and so do societies. And humanity itself is now in the midst of a Tower moment.

If a Tower moment is defined as the conflux of multiple devastating challenges, all at once, we now have a Tower squarely and firmly on our hands.

Because it’s not just one thing.

It’s the conflux – the simultaneous flowing together and cresting – of our oil/energy crisis together with the population boom. We’re running out of the oil that we use for fertilizers and cheap food transport at the same time that we’re in the midst of an unprecedented population surge, anticipated to go to 9B people in the next several decades.

Oil and Population graph by Paul Chefurka, Population, The Elephant in the Room.

We have a built-up world-wide financial crisis just as we’re having increased financial challenges to deal with climate and ecological disasters. And we are certain that the horrific BP Gulf oil spill is just one of many such challenges that we’ll be facing; as we go after more and more “difficult-to-recover” oil, and rely more and more on other sources – including nuclear – we’ll have more energy-based accidents. Chernobyl and Fukushima were just the beginning. There will be more.

And the biggest point that I’m making here? It’s not just the ecological devastation. It’s that cleaning up after these massive ecological devastations will be necessary. And very, very expensive. And that will be occurring just as we need to rebuild port infrastructures and port cities, as the climate shifts and the oceans rise.

And we’re going to attempt to do this as the greatest money-generating generation of this country moves from generating money to taking money. The Baby Boomers are starting to retire. They’ll want Social Security and Medicare. Their retirement savings were largely wiped out by the 2008 financial debacle, and they’ll be needing help – instead of providing an income base to support large-scale clean-up and climate adaptation efforts.

And I haven’t even mentioned the social retooling that we’ll need as transportation costs rise, and it is more and more costly to commute to work, to take vacations, even to go to the grocery store. (Where everything is going to cost more, anyway.)

And also, I haven’t yet mentioned the near-certainty of massive plagues, unleashed with new, antibiotic-resistant bacterial strains and new viral combinations.

This is a Tower time for humanity.

Most of us keep trying to move forward with “life-as-normal,” hoping that someday soon, we’ll get back to “normal.”

My point is that there is no longer any “normal” that we can go back to.

The era of Norman-Rockwell-images – of comfortable family homes with the white picket fences and stability for everyone – is in the past. It won’t come back in our lifetime, or in the lifetime of our children. In fact, it won’t be available for our children’s children either.

We’re in the midst of a profound shift, and there’s no “normal” that we can go back to anymore.

But there is a “word of hope”; for us as a society – and as a race of human beings. And for each of us, individually, as well.

The “word of hope” is that there is something that lies beyond the Tower.

In this blog, I write about human experience – both individually and society-wide – using analogies and stories. I write using archetypes and metaphors. And fortunately (for all of us), I haven’t had to invent the storyline. (In my “sister” blog, I write from the non-linear complex systems perspective.)

The “storyline” was given to us several thousand years ago, in the form of the Kabbalah. This depicts the realms of consciousness; essentially a path towards God-realization. That’s why the Kabbalah has been studied by mystics for many centuries. (Jesus Himself very likely knew and understood the Kabbalah, together with his role in Kabbalistic terms. Another blogpost, another time.)

The Kabbalah lays it out for us. It presents the “created world” using the analogy of the Tree of Life. (See the picture to the left.)

The “centers” of this Tree are states of consciousness. The “pathways” connecting the Tree correspond to the Tarot’s Major Arcana. And also (not so coincidently) to the pre-Phoenician alphabet, which later became the Phoenician, which laid the groundwork for the 22 letters in the Hebrew alphabet.

The Kaballah shows the course of evolution – both of the individual person, and of humanity overall. So people individually go through Tower moments, and survive. (I have, and you have probably done so, also.) Civilizations go through Tower moments. And now, humanity itself is in the midst of a Tower; very likely the greatest Tower time in the history of humanity.

What brings us hope is that there actually is a “step beyond.” It’s called the Star.

The Star card – Major Arcana XVII – from the Rider-Waite depiction.

Calm, lucid, clear. We get wisdom. Our life – what once was – is in shambles around our feet. But we’re still here. And without the need to preserve something that no longer serves its purpose, we are free to receive insight and wisdom. It’s as though we are naked in the world once again. However, we are naked in the midst of the flowing waters of life. We have all that we need, and more.

And beyond the Star, we have the Moon (bringing to awareness all the gifts of our intuition and subconscious awareness), and the Sun (energy, blessings, abundance). From this holy and wonderful moment, we rise in response to the Judgment call. But rather than being harshly judged, this is truly the moment when we joyfully respond to a literal “higher calling.” We “rise up” beyond ourselves. We become that which we were meant to be.

And finally, one step beyond, we are united with God, in a flowing, ecstatic dance.
This, my friends, this dance-with-God, this joyous realization of the divine spark within ourselves, is what our human experience is meant to be.

And if we have to go through a Tower moment to get there, then so be it.

We’ll do this, and we – as humanity – will survive. Not necessarily each one of us individually, but as a species, yes. We’ll survive. But we’ll survive transformed. We’ll survive as those beings that we were created to be.

Now, to specifics.

We can greatly increase our chances of survival if we do certain things.

This is NOT a prepare-for-a-financial-meltdown missive. Nor is it a prepare-for-the-rapture directive. Nor are we going to find our next evolutionary stage by forming some mental symbiosis with a world-wide network of computers, as was suggested by Ray Kurzweil. (But for a very interesting read, linking to the latest data, visit Going Beyond Moore’s Law.)

Rather, what we must do, if we’re going to get through this Tower, is to evolve ourselves. We’re going to have to let go of that which doesn’t work. (That’s a given; that’s the nature of a Tower time.) But also, we have to get ourselves completely together.

Refer, please, to my previous blogpost on the holographic nature of our archetypal experience. The lesson there (which I’ll develop more over time) is that we’re individually – and collectively – going through all of our archetypal stages all at once. Yes, sometimes one thing is much more pronounced than others. (And right now, for humanity, it’s the Tower.)

But because our lives are holographic right now – and very definitely not linear – we can go back and “fill in” what we’ve missed.

So our first big “life challenge” was archetypal integration. That was realizing and gaining mastery of the six core power archetypes about which I’ve been writing for the past half-year. (I introduced these in Unveiling: The Inner Journey. See Chapters 7 and 11; “A Real Woman’s Path (Really Does Exist!)” and “Shifting State,” respectively.) And while we’re at it, we also need to identify and access our two “reserve” or “battery-pack” archetypes – the ones that we use when we need to rest and recharge. This gives us a total of eight “power archetypes”, which we can map onto the Jungian system.

This is a starting point. And if we have to go back and do some remedial work, we can do this. In fact, as focused and mature adults, if we recognize the need to “fill in a gap,” we can probably do so very expeditiously.

We then have an “integration stage.” Actually, we have two integration stages. And the second integration step, which I’ve just gone through, is like a preamble to the Tower, only in a somewhat lower-key way. (And at that, it’s still a real toughie.) This “second integration step” precedes a sort of mini-Tower; one in which we voluntarily leave comfort, safety, and familiarity in search of wisdom.

The end result? If we go through archetypal access and integration (the First Journey), and then the re-integration and the following steps (the Second Journey), we get to a point at which we start accessing some real internal power and capability. This is the Fountain-of-Youth, or ch’i creation, which I describe in Unveiling. (See Chapter 29: “Pragmatic Esoterics,” as well as chapters leading up to that.)

Once we complete our two Journeys, we have not only “all of ourselves, altogether” (the result of integration and re-integration), but also some real vital raw energy – ch’i – with which to work.

Now unfortunately, there’s one really more scary and horrific step – even before we get to the Tower. This is where we encounter the real nasty, dark, ugly stuff inside. (Think of Debbie Ford’s Dark Side of the Light Chasers. Think of World War I, World War II, and genocidal purges around the world. Yup, been there all along – but a lot of real nasty, truly ugly has come out in the past 100 years.) This is the Devil stage, where we encounter the worst-possible. And the really worst part is that what we truly encounter is that which is inside ourselves.

It is this, of course, that unleashes the Tower. Encountering our own ego – in its worst form – is what brings about the destruction of comfort and removes the illusion of safety.

Pretty awful stuff, indeed. And the Tower time is no fun. Not for us individually, and not for humanity.

But if we can put this in context, we’ll see that it is a necessary step, and a transition to the freedom and joy that we truly desire. We move beyond the Tower, and become that which we were meant to be. And at that moment, each of us will be able to say (taking words from A Course in Miracles), “I am as God created me.”

So with that thought of love and encouragement, let’s move onward. And through.

And for those of you who live in the Northern Virginia/Metro DC area, there will be an absolutely fabulous concert on Saturday, June 2nd, at the Langley High School. Performed by The McLean Symphony under the direction of Maestro Dingwall Fleary with Special Invited Guests, it will feature Beethoven’s Ninth Chorale Finale (the “Ode to Joy”) as its closing piece.

Let’s use this to lift up our hearts and spirits, and gain encouragement for the times ahead.

We can certainly make it through the next sixty years. But a “joyful” heart will help us greatly.