Monthly Archives: February 2014

Three Essential Rules to Getting the Most from Your Archetypes

Archetype Management Isn’t Easy – Three Rules to Getting the Most from Your Archetypal Team

Leadership is our biggest challenge ever - and leading our inner archetypal team is as challenging as leading other people!

Leadership is our biggest challenge ever – and leading our inner archetypal team is as challenging as leading other people!

Who says leadership is easy?

Whether you’re Chairman of the Board, or managing a group of pre-schoolers, we all know that getting people (even toddlers) to cooperate on a single mission or goal is a hugely difficult challenge.

In the company that I co-founded prior to my current one, my job was to be the Chief Scientist – the resident genius.

Being a genius was the easy job. The CEO’s job was much tougher!

The CEO had the hard job; he was managing much more complexity – different people, different groups of people, and each had their own sense of what was most important. He had to work with each person (or group) differently to get them to really come on board with his view for what we should all be doing next.

But just like learning to be a good CEO – or good Chairman of the Board – is a learned skill, learning to manage our inner archetypes is also something that we learn.

Three essential rules help us manage our inner archetypes for not just greatest effectiveness, but greatest inner calm and serenity as we create what we desire in life.

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Rule #1: Keep It Simple

The pure sheer force of our inner archetypes is not some abstract, fuzzy-wuzzy concept. Instead, each powerful archetype pushes and pulls us towards circumstances in our lives.

Our inner archetypes have strong desires and tendencies; these lead to immersing ourselves in activities and committing to relationships and obligations.

Case in point.

My young colleague is brilliant. Truly a creative genius. She also has the drive, the passion, to make her visionary creations become real.

The result? Her inner Magician is one of her most dominant archetypes.

Because of her strong inner Magician, she’s in graduate school – and of course, in a very challenging major.

She pushes herself harder than her course-of-study demands. She takes courses that are not absolutely necessary to get her degree, because she sees that what she’ll learn is essential for what she’s creating. She does research, she builds systems that will let her experiment with her novel ideas.

All of this would be just fine – but …

She’s also a mother. Let me make that Mother, capital M. She wanted to be a mom. She fought hard to be a mom. And it didn’t come easy; numerous heartaches and personal sacrifices just to get her child.

So of course, her child takes time. Mental, emotional, and physical time and energy. And she gives this very gladly. This is her Empress/Isis archetype, with a very strong lead.

So now she’s got two of the strongest archetypes going full-tilt, and their demands are non-negotiable.

Even this could be handled. But … (you knew this was coming, right?)

Her income is essential to the family’s well-being. She is forced – more by life-circumstance than by personal desire right now – to spend a lot of time in a job. When you get right down to it, non-negotiable. This means that she spends a lot of time also being an Emperor; a major bread-winner for her family.

Three core power archetypes. Each of them needs – no, demands – a whole lotta time.

How do we deal, when we are in this (not uncommon) situation?

Ruthlessly prioritize how we use our time. Everything that is not essential to our archetype-needs must go towards rest and replenishment for ourselves.

Illustrative example (my colleague’s case):

Taking the child on a Disney vacation during school break. Good call. Doesn’t matter that my colleague had papers to write, experiments to run, and was just simply dragging-her-heels tired. Doesn’t matter that the vacation was damn expensive; meant ratcheting up a credit card. It created good memories. Fun family times. A much-needed break from routine and from consistently putting energy on papers, experiments, etc. Good use of time, money, and energy.

The money and time involved can be recouped.

The pictures that she, her husband, and her child took – irreplaceable. And there will never be this moment with that child again.

Now a not-so-good use of time? A family reunion when there’s emotional tension, demands, dynamics. When said young colleague feels drained after every interaction. She leaves this so-called “vacation” far more depleted than when she began.

See the difference?

When it comes to supporting our archetypes, we can recoup losses of money and time. If we have to borrow to start a business, go to school, whatever – we’ll recover.

It’s a lot harder to recoup from emotional bleed-outs; from situations that get inside our defenses with criticisms and nagging. From people who drain our psychic energy, for whatever rationale or reason.

The lesson from Rule #1: If we’re managing a tough archetypal challenge (three, or even two) dominant and demanding inner archetypes, and if we’ve committed to their aspirations and goals – everything that does not support these commitments must go.

This does not mean that we don’t take time for prayer and pleasure (High Priestess and Hathor). What it does mean is that we don’t let commitments to others sap our reserves; our reserves are necessary to keep ourselves going.

Ask yourself – how do I feel? – after each of these extra commitments or interactions. If we’re short on sleep, but bubbly, then yes – go for it. If we’re drained to the core, then – look more closely. A whole lot more closely.

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Rule #2: Deliberately Involve Your Supporting Archetypes to Help with the Major Ones

Suppose that you’re managing a team that has some real hot-shot players. Something like a football team with a fabulous quarterback, or a basketball team with Michael Jordan. (At this point my sports-analogy-abilities run out. But you get the idea.)

The smart coach will make the big plays off the star players, right?

And he (or she) will train the team so that the other football players clear the field for the quarterback. Or they set up the throw for the basketball super-star.

This is a lot like taking the family on a Disney vacation. (See above.)

A lot like; a little different.

If we’ve got one, two, or three major archetypal commitments, then the rest of the archetypes must go into support mode.

Not everyone can be the quarterback.

Not everyone can call the shots.

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Rule #3: Use Desire More than Drive in Mobilizing towards What You Want

I tend to write either in the middle of the night, or in the earliest hours of the morning.

This morning (really, closer to midnight), I woke up, and thought about writing to you. The injunction that all blog-writers have in their minds came up – how important it was to stay steady and consistent. I felt motivated, but it wasn’t really enough to get me out of bed.

Then I thought about how much I really wanted to connect with you. Some of you, I know in person, or via email exchanges. But with some of you (brave soul that you are), we’ve never met. Our relationship is strictly through this blogging channel.

Yet still – just by my showing up to write, and you showing up to read – this is a relationship.

What got me out of bed this morning wasn’t drive, it was desire.

Drive pushes from behind (we all know how good that DOESN’T feel!); desire pulls us forward.

Your Hestia Archetype: The High Value of Puttering

Hestia, the Goddess-Archetype of Hearth and Home, Keeps Life Glued Together

Puttering about - essential to unlocking our creative gifts.

Puttering about – essential to unlocking our creative gifts, quote from Brenda Ueland.

Puttering is vastly underrated.

I took three days off from my usual schedule this last weekend. On one of these, I got a new project started – with alacrity and focus that surprised even me. The other two days?

Puttering.

After a long, cold winter (which is likely to be longer and colder; the groundhog definitely saw his shadow), we’re having more light.

More light is not only increased energy, its more light on the cobwebs and dusty corners; the piles of paperwork, every little thing that piled up while we were busy getting through the holidays, and then hibernating for the weeks of Solstice and immediately thereafter.

This was our High Priestess time.

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Our High Priestess Time Is for Introspection and Inspiration

The High Priestess, by Mari-Na.

The High Priestess, by Mari-Na.

In our High Priestess mode (still continuing, especially when we finish shoveling out and just want to take a long hot bath, sit in front of the fire, or curl up with a good book or DVD), the boundaries of our awareness are open, diffuse, and unfocused.

If we can manage not to overindulge in novels, DVDs, and Facebook surfing, then we are open to our inner wisdom and guidance. This is the time when connections happen; ideas and thoughts emerge that can influence us for years ahead.

Several years ago, we had a big winter blizzard, and were snowbound for three days. I used that time to study some notes and pull together some ideas that had been lurking in the corners of my mind. This led to the first patent that I wrote for my newly-formed company; it was a significant and over-arching invention in the new realm of knowledge discovery.

Vacations similarly help us access our inner High Priestess, and medical researchers suggest that vacations help promote creativity. There is even a study supporting a relationship between vacations and marital happiness and reduced depression!

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Our Hestia Time Is for Getting Our Lives in Order

Vacations are important. Even snow days (once we’ve gotten home safely, and have done the requisite snow-shoveling) give us a little bubble of time-out-of-time. That’s what our High Priestess moments are all about.

But Lee G., one of my dear friends, once said:

5% of life is the highs. 5% is the lows. The rest is maintenance.

Hestia - Greek goddess of hearth and home.

Hestia – Greek goddess of hearth and home.

Our Hestia mode is all about maintenance.

Hestia is not as fun, exciting, or dramatic as our visionary and creative Magician. She doesn’t give us the same surge of taking-over-the-world as does our Emperor. She’s not about the feel-good times of our nurturing Empress or mentoring Hierophant. She’s very far removed from the dopamine-fueled, pleasure-seeking Hathor mode (our inner goddess of love, sensuality, and pleasure in all its forms).

But without our Hestia, life falls apart.

Hestia sews on buttons.

A Woman Sewing by Henri Martin.

A Woman Sewing, by Henri Martin (French Post-Impressionist Painter, 1860-1943).

Recently, I wanted to get back into sewing.

Sewing is one of my favorite creative activities; I love the interplay of color, weave, sheen, and texture. I delight in the feel of fabrics. I love the technical challenge of making something beautiful and fitted, or something that drapes just so.

Hand-sewing is my own “wax on, wax off.” It’s one of the ways in which I access my inner High Priestess; the gentle rhythm of hand-sewing keeps my hands busy while my mind opens up. It’s one of my chief ways of encouraging creativity.

In short, sewing helps me access my High Priestess, which then helps me (because its creative, yet gives me quiet-time) access my inner Magician.

But sometimes, it’s hard for me to jump right into a creative project.

So this last time, to get my juices flowing, I tackled my mending basket.

Over the course of an afternoon, I replaced elastic, mended tears, and did lots of other little itsy-bitsy sewing chores, getting my hands and mind used to the rhythm once again.

Getting into my Hestia mode helped me access my High Priestess mode (when I actually started a for-real sewing project this last weekend), which was tied into my Magician. (The sewing project involved envisioning what I wanted, matching colors and fabrics, putting together accessories, etc.)

When I access my High Priestess and Magician on right-brain (sensory-rich, hands-on) projects, my mind starts to free up and get new ideas for the more logical, linear, left-brain areas.

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Making the Most of Your Hestia Time

Some years ago, one of my dance students – whose day job was working at the Claude Moore Colonial Farm (a living history farm) says that she and the other lead staff figured out how to get the best out of volunteers.

Volunteers were easy to come by. Also, various schools would occasionally have students spend a day at the farm, getting a real-life taste of what it was like to live back in colonial times.

So, willing hands and strong bodies were not the problem.

The problem was getting them on a useful task.

A mending basket is a tool for our Hestia time.

A mending basket is a tool for our Hestia time.

My student and her colleagues found that the ideal solution was to establish project boxes.

Every project box contains a written list of exactly what needs to be done, and all the tools/supplies needed to do the job.

I thought this was an excellent idea, and started using it for my own projects-about-the-house.

For example, my mending basket doesn’t just contain clothes to be mended. Each item is put into a plastic zippered bag, with a note about what has to be done, matching thread, and whatever other small items are needed. If I need to get something special to complete a task – a zipper or even the right color of thread – that goes on a special shopping list, and the zippered bag doesn’t go into the big mending basket until everything is there, ready-to-use.

When I take Hestia time, I don’t have to run around looking for the odds and ends needed to get a job done.

Try this at home, and see if it makes your life easier. (And let me know if it does – use the comments below)

More on Hestia

Hestia – When A Woman’s Work is Never Done

Hestia – This Rest and Recharge Core Archetype Is Not Really Resting!

You’ve probably all read this one. I took this version directly from RNW Forum, and have no idea of who originally wrote it. (But if you know the first source, please let me know; I’ll give them full credit!)

I’M GOING TO BED…..Men vs Women

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, “I’m tired, and it’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed”.

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.

She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.

She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk, wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store… She put both near her purse.

Mom then washed her face with 3-in-1 cleanser, put on her night solution & age-fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth, and filed her nails.

Dad called out, “I thought you were going to bed.”

“I’m on my way,” she said.

She put some water into the dog’s dish, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV’s, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next day, and straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. “I’m going to bed.”

And he did… without another thought.

Hestia, Goddess of Hearth and Home, Maintains Order, Calm, Continuity

Hestia - Greek goddess of hearth and home.

Hestia – Greek goddess of hearth and home.

Our Hestia is not our most emotional of archetypes. She’s not squishy. She’s not all about our Empress’s focus on the oxytocin-rush of cuddling and petting and warm connection. And she’s not about our Hathor’s craving for the good-feelings from the combination of a dopamine-high (pleasure-jolt) enhanced by oxytocin (the feel-good connection hormone).

But without our inner Hestia, our world falls apart.

And really, nothing diminishes a good love-rush like a mountain of minutia.

That’s why our Hestia is vital.

This is part of the reason, I suspect, that women handle being alone much better than men do. We not only have more consistent and more connected social circles (a strong and well-cultivated Empress), we have a strong inner Hestia.

The result?

Our lives – at the minutia level – run much more smoothly.

Which means that the big things have a chance for working out as well.

When we invoke our inner Hestia, we bring a calm and consistent orderliness into our lives.

As Julia Cameron states, in The Artist’s Way, one way to think of God is as Good Orderly Direction.

With our inner Hestia, we get the Good and the Orderly. Then, bringing in the overall life-direction builds on a happy foundation.

Today is February 1st, Candlemas Eve. This is the ancient Pagan Festival of Lights – the true beginning of the new year.

One ancient way to celebrate is to put a lit candle into each street-facing window, and let them burn throughout the night.

Tonight, why not have a simple meditation with a white candle?

Very simple and stripped-down. No fuss, no frills.

We’ll start tomorrow with adding in those things that make our life joyous and delightful.

But underneath it all, as we count our blessings (gratitude is our main spiritual discipline for winter), let’s also be thankful for our inner Hestia. She keeps our lives together, so we can experience delicious fulfillment, pleasure, and joy.

Next week: Why Hestia’s time is perfect just now!

More on Hestia

The Hestia archetype is one of the most popular among women, if my bloghits are any indication.

Why?

Not offering a super-scientific insight here, but my guess is that we’ve got this felt-level sense that Hestia represents something very important to us – that is perhaps not quite valued today the way it was in our parent’s (and earlier) generations.

Yours to decide. But check out these earlier posts: